Where it’s All Bigger and Better

We have a huge spider web outside on our deck. The spider only comes out at night and the early morning.

Me, at 7:00am: That is a big honkin’ spider out there.
Michael: It’s not that big.
Me: It’s bigger than the average spider.
Michael: You know where they have bigger spiders?
Me, rolling eyes: Texas.



Filed under dialogue

3 responses to “Where it’s All Bigger and Better

  1. Phil

    I second the eye roll. Secede already!

  2. Yesterday I found the biggest spider I have EVER seen in our house on the inside of our front door. I was too freaked out to kill it with a tissue — not enough protection! — and I was scared to use multiple tissues because I thought it would escape in the folds and, like, jump on me. And then I would die. So I trapped it under a glass (I was freaking out the whole time) and CARRIED IT DOWN THE DRIVEWAY and OUT TO THE STREET. Where I set it free, far away from the house. (I can’t believe I’m admitting this.) But it was seriously so big that when I started walking back up the driveway, I turned around to look and I could actually see it SCUTTLING UP THE STREET. You should never actually be able to see a spider scuttling up the street from that far away.

    Spiders…they freak me out.

    • Maybe Charlotte’s Web had something to do with this, but I’m not terrified of spiders. I don’t exactly want to have one as a pet or anything and I prefer they are OUTSIDE my home, but I’m perfectly fine letting our new spider friend make a web outside the zone where we might accidentally walk into it.

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